Dear Jordan
I’m wondering how life is
It’s been a while since we last spoke
And the world has changed
And the world’s gone wild
Since we drank Smirnoffs
And danced in the rain.
And I’m wondering if you’re living in a house by the sea
And I’m wondering if you have a child
And all the things we whispered about
In the spring of 1999
Is your mama still living on Pacific and Rose
Is she still living at all
Did Jessie grow up knowing her Dad
After the accident early that fall
And I’m doing things Jordan that we talked about
Back when we were so young
I met a good man
We sing and we plow
Warms up my feet when the cold season comes.
We’re good together singing our songs
Ride horses once in a while
And I think of you each time the seasons change
Think of us running when we were so small
Life’s built up in chapters
Our chapters been read
We lose half the universe
Build a new one instead
I’m loving this chapter Jordan
Still wish you were here
Capsule’s right where we buried it
On the corner of Main Street and Pierre
Guess I don’t really know what to say to you now
Been years since the night it went down
They took you away and they didn’t say where
I watched as the car disappeared down the road
Didn’t say your name Jordan for twenty odd years
But my heart tucked it away
I knew I’d reach out
When we were grown
But I still don’t know what to say.
Life’s built up in chapters
Our chapters been read
We lose half the universe
Build new ones instead
I’m loving this chapter Jordan
Still wish you were here
Capsule’s right where we buried it
On the corner of Main Street and Pierre
Married young because they said
That’s what nice girls do
Packed your trunk
With lacey things
Fear like a residue
Well your Daddy paced
And your mama cried
Sis kicked up the dirt
You waved at them as the motor roared
Saddest sound you ever heard
Paper Piano
Was all she used
Because he couldn’t stand the sound
Of a woman with the blues
Military marches
Were all he could abide
She played the paper piano
Until the day he died
Babies took up most of her
The way that babies do
Duties that a woman has
She had at twenty-two
Crying in the bathtub
Sitting out under the moon
She played her paper piano
And never left a clue
Paper Piano
Was all she used
Because he couldn’t stand the sound
Of a woman with the blues
Military marches
Were all he could abide
She played the paper piano
Until the day he died
Girl you should be grateful
For all your fancy things
Keeps you in the finest clothes
Gave you his ring
Piano’s just an instrument
Of wood and ivory
You might miss the piano
You don’t miss poverty
Oh how sweet it is
All that pearly sound
Carries you to heaven
When you're all alone here
Living off the ground
Face grew lined and paper-thin
Hands still had the touch
Babies had their own babes
Man grew frail and hunched
Died one early morning
In his rocking chair
She went and bought a baby grand
And shook her silver hair
Paper Piano
Was all she used
Because he couldn’t stand the sound
Of a woman with the blues
Military marches were all he could abide
She played the paper piano
Until the day he died
Keep away the rain
Settle in the dust
Tuck away all evidence
Of your lust
Keeping it basic
Staying on the side
Pucker up your lips
Taper down your pride
It’s a lonesome game
Check into the flight
Pull into the lot
Post a little pic
Engine’s hot
Every day the same
Jeanie’s got a deal now
Cassie’s on the phone
Love is inconvenient
Put it all on hold
Hamsters on a wheel
Running out of time
Paparazzi cries
You’re old at 29
Scarcity is old
Intellect new
Getting to the bottom
Like you’re Nancy Drew
Fame will go away
Jeanie’s got a deal now
Cassie’s on the phone
Love is inconvenient
Put it all on hold
I would like to run away
From all of this sometimes
Go and find a cabin
In the woods
And call it mine
Prudence is a word
Nobody is taught
Mercy is a notion
Only Jesus bought
Market up your grief
Sell it on a stand
Make into the best deal
In all the land
Think about your brand
Jeanie’s got a deal now
Cassie’s on the phone
Life’s so inconvenient
Put it all on hold
In the blue fog of the morning
In the in between of worlds
I sometimes feel your breath
Like morning dew
Your leather face
Your seaweed eyes
Your crumbled shirts
And your bold-faced lies
The way your hair curls up
Around your collar
But of all the breaths that breath me
And all of truths that squeeze me
And the light I know is getting near
I’d choose you for just one more day
Take you down the old café
And weep in thanks
For all you did for me
And my body’s been through walls
She’s frozen and she’s starved
She’s howled in pain
And run around the world
She’s laughed and she’s played
Been left out in the rain
To look for love
Like outlaws often do
But of all the breaths that breath me
And all of truths that squeeze me
And the light I know is getting near
I’d choose you for just one more day
I’d take you to the old café
And weep in thanks
For all you did for me
And I’m older now not wiser
Still pretty bad at poker
Still wear my bleeding heart
Upon my sleeve
And I’ve forgiven you for leaving
You just did what people do
And I found my way to gentle
Found my way to good
But of all the breaths that breath me
And all of truths that squeeze me
And the light I know is getting near
I’d choose you for just one more day
I’d take you to the old café
And weep in thanks
For all you did for me
Broken windows
On shallow ground
Fifteen lives in fifteen towns
Severus Johnson ran a red stoplight
Eleven bullets in his chest
And his screaming wife
Why’d you take him out
Why’d you tear him down
Blood on the dashboard
Wailing without sound
We have a demon here
And we know its name
It will not extinguish
Fifteen spirits flame
Child at a liquor store
Woman in her bed
Man on a park bench
You guess why they’re dead
They must have caused it
Least that’s what we’re told
Don’t ever question
The values we uphold
These broken windows
Violent carousel
This loop of sorrow
We know so well
A puppet's pantomime
Of wailing rue
God, grant us mercy
See us through
Woman in a graveyard
Freezing in the wind
Wishing she could
One more time
Touch her baby"s skin
Winter is cold this year
Ice is full of spite
When your child is ripped away
In the broad daylight
Why’d you take him out
Why’d you tear him down
Blood on the dashboard
Wailing without sound
We have a demon here
And we know its name
It will not extinguish
Fifteen spirits flame
I swear I didn’t mean
To spy that afternoon
But your sweet body was there
Through the glass window
And my soapy water
And my dirty hands
And your twisted grace
Was all I needed to understand
On that afternoon
And it’s five o’clock on Saturday
In the Santa Ana winds
I’m with my sweetheart
When the night begins
He’s got another sweetheart
I can feel it in the air
Oh but all I need right now
Is to feel his hands in my hair
In the afternoon
I hear she looks just like
A movie queen
I hear she cooks
Like your mother
I know that you don’t like
No jealousy
Now I done gone
Blown my cover
Let me know if you get to the point
Where you want something new
We could go to Thailand babe
Get married by a dune
We won’t invite no one
Just a private small affair
Oh but I know you babe
You wouldn’t dream of going there
And I’m playing the fool
Quitting you ’s the hardest thing
I tried but I can’t get along without you babe
And singing you this song is just
Another things gotta to be discussed
When we finally make up
In the evening rain
Come on home we’ll start again
We can get it right this time
Tossing out my jealousy
Dumping out your wine
Let’s let our pride go
Laugh until we cry
Oh the bed is warm babe
Let’s get undressed In the pale moonlight
And I’m feeling fine
I’m feeling good tonight
I’m feeling fine
I’m feeling good tonight
I’m feeling fine
Bathroom was clean
Pantry was empty
Cat had been fed
And the suitcase was gone
If I know you well
You’re out conquering Atlanta
Trying out your sweetness
On the bruise colored sky
I know better babe
Then to ask you for details
You back away
When you’re tracked or pinned down
You don’t call
Unless you are hungry
And you ain’t hungry babe
When I am around
You are tough
As a two dollar steak on Sunday
Riding around
In your Oldsmobile
Looking for hearts
To pin up on the bedpost
Losing the old ones
Like crumbs on the trail
I like to lay my cheek
On the table
Listening to you talk
About nothing at all
Your voice like wind
Your hands like fire
You loved me best
When it all fell apart
I was told you weren’t
The staying kind
You warned I should leave you
When I could
But all I know
Is the song you sang me
Words in a bottle
Have I misunderstood
You are tough
As a two dollar steak on Sunday
Riding around
in your Oldsmobile
Looking for hearts
To pin up on your bedpost
Losing the old ones
Like crumbs on the trail
It’s been eight months but I ain’t
Heard word from you
Summer is ending
And the days getting short
Was what we had
Just a moment of fun babe
Are you made of plastic
Is that all she wrote?
You are tough
As a two dollar steak on Sunday
Riding around
in your Oldsmobile
To pin up on your bedpost
Losing the old ones
Like crumbs on the trail
Milwaukee is rainy and cold
Flight cancelled nobody knows
I’m spending Christmas
In the airport lounge
Unwrapping sorrow and woe
Waitress comes round my table
Eyes are a sweet honey-brown
Reindeer sweater and a jingle bell hat
Looks at me just like she knows
I ain’t afraid of
This vagabond life
I’m nobody’s mama
Nobody’s wife
I ain’t complaining
I just wanted to say
I’d give it all up babe
If only you’d stay
Sometimes I wonder if
If my best years ran by
Broken down jumble
Of jigsaw parts
Joker with an
Upside-down grin
Friends inside
Their pretty warm home
Tonight at the airport bar
I still got the snow
I know she’ll make a good wife
She don’t crave the road
Fridge ain’t empty
And her mind ain’t full
Demons don’t lurk by her side
You said we’d always be friends
I smiled and nodded my head
My heart shatters when it thinks about you
Holding her straight through the night
I ain’t afraid of
This vagabond life
I’m nobody’s mama
Nobody’s wife
I ain’t complaining
I just wanted to say
I’d give it all up babe
If only you’d stay
Ocean child
Sea foam wild
Driftwood voice
And autumn hair
Look into the glass and see
The beauty that is there
I know you are weary now
It’s hard being young sometimes
But growing hurts
And the world hurts too
In these callous times
Keep your head in the sky
Keep your feet on the earth
Smile at things big and small
And know your joy will wait for you
You’re doing fine all in all
You ain’t wrong
To shed those tears
Heart ain’t wrong to mourn
It’s hard to see the bright and clean
When you’re still so raw
Keep your face to the sky
Your feet on the earth
Smile at things big and small
And know that joy will wait for you
You’re doing fine all in all
If you can’t find your faith today
Borrow mine instead
I’ve got enough for both of us
Come to me rest your head
I know just how lonesome
Life can be
When old love fades
But you belong
To sing your song
In the family that God made
Keep your face to the sky
Your feet on the earth
Smile at things big and small
And know that joy will wait for you
You’re doing fine all in all
My love got on a train
Yesterday morning
To go become a star
In Hollywood
I told him to go
But really it tore me
Being the one that stays
To tend the young
He hates the mud and rain
Hates the mold here
Who’d blame him
It’s certainly not
Glamorous to plow
But our babies miss him
And ask about him daily
I tell them that he loves them
And he’ll be home by June
How many hours
Does it take to come home
When we’ve been broken
And the future’s unknown
I know that we don’t shine
The way the limelight do
But I left the light on
Just in case it’s you
I saw Amelia Jones
Down by the diner
She heard from
Your old man
You were in town
If pride is stopping you
From coming home dear
Know your loved with riches
Or without
How many hours
Does it take to come home
When we’ve been broken
And the future’s unknown
I know that we don’t shine
The way the limelight do
But I left the light on
Just in case it’s you
Well your daughters got
Your crooked nose
Your dark sense of humor
And the boys are growing
Tall like weeds
And asking for their father
Could you bother please
I know I should move on
But love drilled a hole here
I’m open wide
Just like a busted down door
Some days I feel so blue
I just stay in bed here
Kids the only thing that
Keep me strong
It’s been two years since last
You’ve been in touch dear
I heard your tending bar
Up in New York
Your living in a cold
Railroad flat dear
Thinking you will
Still become a star
How many hours
Does it take to come home
When we’ve been broken
And the future’s unknown
I know that we don’t shine
The way the limelight do
But I left the light on
Just in case it’s you