Dear Jordan

 

Dear Jordan

I’m wondering how life is 

It’s been a while since we last spoke                                           

And the world has changed 

And the world’s gone wild 

Since we drank Smirnoffs 

And danced in the rain. 

 

And I’m wondering if you’re living in a house by the sea 

And I’m wondering if you have a child          

And all the things we whispered about 

In the spring of 1999

 

Is your mama still living on Pacific and Rose 

Is she still living at all                                                                    

Did Jessie grow up knowing her Dad 

After the accident early that fall 

 

And I’m doing things Jordan that we talked about                              

Back when we were so young 

I met a good man 

We sing and we plow 

Warms up my feet when the cold season comes. 

We’re good together singing our songs 

Ride horses once in a while 

And I think of you each time the seasons change 

Think of us running when we were so small

 

Life’s built up in chapters                                                               

Our chapters been read 

We lose half the universe 

Build a new one instead

I’m loving this chapter Jordan 

Still wish you were here 

Capsule’s right where we buried it 

On the corner of Main Street and Pierre 

 

Guess I don’t really know what to say to you now                       

Been years since the night it went down 

They took you away and they didn’t say where 

I watched as the car disappeared down the road 

Didn’t say your name Jordan for twenty odd years                             

But my heart tucked it away 

I knew I’d reach out 

When we were grown 

But I still don’t know what to say. 

 

Life’s built up in chapters                                                              

Our chapters been read 

We lose half the universe 

Build new ones instead

I’m loving this chapter Jordan 

Still wish you were here 

Capsule’s right where we buried it 

On the corner of Main Street and Pierre

Paper Piano

Married young because they said 

That’s what nice girls do 

Packed your trunk 

With lacey things 

Fear like a residue 

Well your Daddy paced 

And your mama cried 

Sis kicked up the dirt 

You waved at them as the motor roared 

Saddest sound you ever heard 

 

Paper Piano 

Was all she used 

Because he couldn’t stand the sound 

Of a woman with the blues

Military marches 

Were all he could abide 

She played the paper piano 

Until the day he died

 

Babies took up most of her 

The way that babies do 

Duties that a woman has 

She had at twenty-two 

Crying in the bathtub 

Sitting out under the moon 

She played her paper piano 

And never left a clue

 

Paper Piano 

Was all she used 

Because he couldn’t stand the sound 

Of a woman with the blues 

Military marches 

Were all he could abide 

She played the paper piano 

Until the day he died 

 

Girl you should be grateful 

For all your fancy things 

Keeps you in the finest clothes 

Gave you his ring 

Piano’s just an instrument 

Of wood and ivory 

You might miss the piano 

You don’t miss poverty 

Oh how sweet it is

All that pearly sound

Carries you to heaven

When you're all alone here

Living off the ground

 

Face grew lined and paper-thin 

Hands still had the touch 

Babies had their own babes 

Man grew frail and hunched 

Died one early morning 

In his rocking chair 

She went and bought a baby grand 

And shook her silver hair 

 

Paper Piano 

Was all she used 

Because he couldn’t stand the sound 

Of a woman with the blues 

Military marches were all he could abide 

She played the paper piano 

Until the day he died

Jeanie's Got a Deal

Keep away the rain 

Settle in the dust 

Tuck away all evidence 

Of your lust

Keeping it basic 

Staying on the side 

Pucker up your lips 

Taper down your pride 

It’s a lonesome game 

 

Check into the flight 

Pull into the lot 

Post a little pic 

Engine’s hot 

Every day the same 

 

Jeanie’s got a deal now 

Cassie’s on the phone 

Love is inconvenient 

Put it all on hold 

 

Hamsters on a wheel 

Running out of time 

Paparazzi cries 

You’re old at 29 

Scarcity is old 

Intellect new 

Getting to the bottom 

Like you’re Nancy Drew 

Fame will go away 

 

Jeanie’s got a deal now 

Cassie’s on the phone 

Love is inconvenient 

Put it all on hold 

 

I would like to run away 

From all of this sometimes 

Go and find a cabin 

In the woods 

And call it mine 

 

Prudence is a word 

Nobody is taught 

Mercy is a notion 

Only Jesus bought 

Market up your grief 

Sell it on a stand  

Make into the best deal 

In all the land 

Think about your brand 

 

Jeanie’s got a deal now 

Cassie’s on the phone 

Life’s so inconvenient  

Put it all on hold

Weep in Thanks

In the blue fog of the morning 

In the in between of worlds 

I sometimes feel your breath 

Like morning dew 

Your leather face 

Your seaweed eyes 

Your crumbled shirts 

And your bold-faced lies 

The way your hair curls up 

Around your collar 

 

But of all the breaths that breath me 

And all of truths that squeeze me 

And the light I know is getting near 

I’d choose you for just one more day 

Take you down the old café 

And weep in thanks 

For all you did for me

 

And my body’s been through walls 

She’s frozen and she’s starved 

She’s howled in pain 

And run around the world

She’s laughed and she’s played 

Been left out in the rain 

To look for love 

Like outlaws often do 

 

But of all the breaths that breath me 

And all of truths that squeeze me 

And the light I know is getting near 

I’d choose you for just one more day 

I’d take you to the old café 

And weep in thanks 

For all you did for me

 

And I’m older now not wiser 

Still pretty bad at poker 

Still wear my bleeding heart 

Upon my sleeve 

And I’ve forgiven you for leaving 

You just did what people do 

And I found my way to gentle 

Found my way to good

 

But of all the breaths that breath me 

And all of truths that squeeze me 

And the light I know is getting near 

I’d choose you for just one more day 

I’d take you to the old café 

And weep in thanks 

For all you did for me

Fifteen Spirits

Broken windows 

On shallow ground 

Fifteen lives in fifteen towns 

Severus Johnson ran a red stoplight 

Eleven bullets in his chest 

And his screaming wife  

 

Why’d you take him out 

Why’d you tear him down 

Blood on the dashboard  

Wailing without sound  

We have a demon here  

And we know its name  

It will not extinguish 

Fifteen spirits flame

 

Child at a liquor store  

Woman in her bed 

Man on a park bench  

You guess why they’re dead 

They must have caused it 

Least that’s what we’re told 

Don’t ever question  

The values we uphold 

 

These broken windows 

Violent carousel 

This loop of sorrow 

We know so well 

A puppet's pantomime 

Of wailing rue 

God, grant us mercy  

See us through

 

Woman in a graveyard 

Freezing in the wind 

Wishing she could 

One more time 

Touch her baby"s skin 

Winter is cold this year 

Ice is full of spite  

When your child is ripped away 

In the broad daylight

 

Why’d you take him out 

Why’d you tear him down 

Blood on the dashboard  

Wailing without sound  

We have a demon here 

And we know its name  

It will not extinguish 

Fifteen spirits flame

Twisted Grace

I swear I didn’t mean  

To spy that afternoon 

But your sweet body was there 

Through the glass window 

And my soapy water  

And my dirty hands 

And your twisted grace 

Was all I needed to understand  

On that afternoon 

 

And it’s five o’clock on Saturday 

In the Santa Ana winds 

I’m with my sweetheart  

When the night begins 

He’s got another sweetheart  

I can feel it in the air 

Oh but all I need right now 

Is to feel his hands in my hair 

In the afternoon 

 

I hear she looks just like 

A movie queen 

I hear she cooks  

Like your mother               

I know that you don’t like  

No jealousy 

Now I done gone 

Blown my cover 

 

Let me know if you get to the point 

Where you want something new 

We could go to Thailand babe 

Get married by a dune 

We won’t invite no one 

Just a private small affair 

Oh but I know you babe 

You wouldn’t dream of going there 

And I’m playing the fool

 

Quitting you ’s the hardest thing 

I tried but I can’t get along without you babe 

And singing you this song is just 

Another things gotta to be discussed  

When we finally make up  

In the evening rain 

 

Come on home we’ll start again 

We can get it right this time 

Tossing out my jealousy                

Dumping out your wine  

Let’s let our pride go 

Laugh until we cry 

Oh the bed is warm babe 

Let’s get undressed In the pale moonlight  

And I’m feeling fine 

 

I’m feeling good tonight  

I’m feeling fine 

I’m feeling good tonight 

I’m feeling fine

Tough

Bathroom was clean 

Pantry was empty 

Cat had been fed 

And the suitcase was gone        

If I know you well 

You’re out conquering Atlanta 

Trying out your sweetness 

On the bruise colored sky 

 

I know better babe 

Then to ask you for details 

You back away 

When you’re tracked or pinned down 

You don’t call 

Unless you are hungry 

And you ain’t hungry babe 

When I am around 

 

You are tough 

As a two dollar steak on Sunday  

Riding around 

In your Oldsmobile 

Looking for hearts 

To pin up on the bedpost 

Losing the old ones 

Like crumbs on the trail 

 

I like to lay my cheek 

On the table 

Listening to you talk  

About nothing at all 

Your voice like wind 

Your hands like fire 

You loved me best  

When it all fell apart 

 

I was told you weren’t 

The staying kind 

You warned I should leave you 

When I could 

But all I know 

Is the song you sang me 

Words in a bottle 

Have I misunderstood 

 

You are tough 

As a two dollar steak on Sunday 

Riding around 

in your Oldsmobile 

Looking for hearts 

To pin up on your bedpost  

Losing the old ones 

Like crumbs on the trail 

 

It’s been eight months but I ain’t 

Heard word from you 

Summer is ending 

And the days getting short 

Was what we had 

Just a moment of fun babe 

Are you made of plastic 

Is that all she wrote? 

 

You are tough 

As a two dollar steak on Sunday  

Riding around 

in your Oldsmobile 

To pin up on your bedpost 

Losing the old ones 

Like crumbs on the trail

Milwaukee

Milwaukee is rainy and cold 

Flight cancelled nobody knows 

I’m spending Christmas 

In the airport lounge  

Unwrapping sorrow and woe

Waitress comes round my table 

Eyes are a sweet honey-brown 

Reindeer sweater and a jingle bell hat 

Looks at me just like she knows 

 

I ain’t afraid of 

This vagabond life 

I’m nobody’s mama 

Nobody’s wife 

I ain’t complaining 

I just wanted to say 

I’d give it all up babe 

If only you’d stay 

 

Sometimes I wonder if 

If my best years ran by 

Broken down jumble 

Of jigsaw parts 

Joker with an 

Upside-down grin 

Friends inside 

Their pretty warm home 

Tonight at the airport bar 

I still got the snow

 

I know she’ll make a good wife 

She don’t crave the road 

Fridge ain’t empty 

And her mind ain’t full 

Demons don’t lurk by her side 

You said we’d always be friends 

I smiled and nodded my head 

My heart shatters when it thinks about you 

Holding her straight through the night 

 

I ain’t afraid of 

This vagabond life 

I’m nobody’s mama 

Nobody’s wife 

I ain’t complaining 

I just wanted to say 

I’d give it all up babe 

If only you’d stay

Ocean Child

Ocean child 

Sea foam wild 

Driftwood voice 

And autumn hair 

Look into the glass and see 

The beauty that is there 

 

I know you are weary now 

It’s hard being young sometimes 

But growing hurts 

And the world hurts too 

In these callous times 

 

Keep your head in the sky 

Keep your feet on the earth 

Smile at things big and small 

And know your joy will wait for you  

You’re doing fine all in all 

 

You ain’t wrong 

To shed those tears 

Heart ain’t wrong to mourn 

It’s hard to see the bright and clean 

When you’re still so raw 

 

Keep your face to the sky 

Your feet on the earth 

Smile at things big and small 

And know that joy will wait for you  

You’re doing fine all in all 

 

If you can’t find your faith today 

Borrow mine instead 

I’ve got enough for both of us 

Come to me rest your head 

 

I know just how lonesome 

Life can be 

When old love fades 

But you belong 

To sing your song 

In the family that God made 

 

Keep your face to the sky 

Your feet on the earth 

Smile at things big and small 

And know that joy will wait for you 

You’re doing fine all in all

Just in Case

My love got on a train 

Yesterday morning 

To go become a star 

In Hollywood 

I told him to go 

But really it tore me 

Being the one that stays 

To tend the young 

  

He hates the mud and rain 

Hates the mold here 

Who’d blame him 

It’s certainly not  

Glamorous to plow  

But our babies miss him 

And ask about him daily 

I tell them that he loves them 

And he’ll be home by June 

  

How many hours 

Does it take to come home 

When we’ve been broken 

And the future’s unknown 

I know that we don’t shine 

The way the limelight do 

But I left the light on 

Just in case it’s you 

  

I saw Amelia Jones  

Down by the diner 

She heard from 

Your old man 

You were in town 

If pride is stopping you 

From coming home dear 

Know your loved with riches 

Or without 

 

How many hours 

Does it take to come home  

When we’ve been broken  

And the future’s unknown 

I know that we don’t shine 

The way the limelight do 

But I left the light on 

Just in case it’s you 

  

Well your daughters got 

Your crooked nose 

Your dark sense of humor 

And the boys are growing  

Tall like weeds 

And asking for their father 

Could you bother please 

  

I know I should move on 

But love drilled a hole here 

I’m open wide  

Just like a busted down door 

Some days I feel so blue 

I just stay in bed here

Kids the only thing that 

Keep me strong 

 

It’s been two years since last 

You’ve been in touch dear 

I heard your tending bar 

Up in New York 

Your living in a cold 

Railroad flat dear 

Thinking you will 

Still become a star 

  

How many hours 

Does it take to come home 

When we’ve been broken  

And the future’s unknown 

I know that we don’t shine 

The way the limelight do 

But I left the light on 

Just in case it’s you